Imagine

So I didn't know I blogged yesterday. Weird. It's like I did it subconsciously. Whoa, Inception.

Okay anyway, I wanted to talk about a really important matter of business. This issue is something I hold near and dear to my heart. We're almost to the two year anniversary of the tragic accident that left a CNU student dead because one of my fraternity brothers drove intoxicated and crashed his car into the other student's car. I cannot believe it. Two years. A lot of things have happened in two years. KDR went from a constant spectacle due to the accident to the best fraternity on CNU's campus. Heck, we were the best chapter in the nation for the 2009-2010 school year. But the one thing that has been left to whispers is what happened to those brothers who were greatly affected by this horrible incident. Personally, it left me numb and scared. I did not know the other student, but my fraternity brother went to jail for this. He was expelled, and no one has seen him in a long time. No one will see him for a long time either. I was just numb. A lot of my brothers were scarred. I can see the damage in their eyes, and a lot of those most damaged did nothing to cope. I've seen them drop off the face of the planet into their own worlds. I've seen horrible personal decisions. It's sad. I've also seen nobody reach out to these people. Some have tried; others chose to look the other way, sweeping the problems under the rug. If something traumatic happens to you, do not hesitate to get help. Therapy is not dumb; therapy is not for losers; and therapy does not mean you have mental problems. You are better off getting help sooner than later.

I bring this up because last month, my co-worker's nephew died while pledging a fraternity at Radford. Now this is not exactly the same, but it's related in the fact that alcohol caused a terrible accident. It just has me thinking about everything KDR strove to be in order to place ourselves above the "frat" mold. I wish that more Greek organizations would get it. Hazing does not equal tradition. Hazing is not grounds for bringing brothers closer. I have never been a fan of the "it happened to me, it should happen to you" mentality. If things sucked for you, make them better for those coming after you! I think I've been on my soap box for long enough. I'm trying to focus on talking about issues that matter since I'm tired of reading my bitching, haha.

Firework

Wow, I am so sorry, blog, that I have neglected you for almost a month. It's been pretty busy. I had one show close (Shipwrecked!, the one I worked) and another open (The Boy Friend, the one in which I'm the lead). I've done some shifts in my job: once the show ended I went back to 9A-5P in the office, but that's just going to change very, very soon with White Christmas taking over my life. On most Wednesdays and all Saturdays, I'll be in the damn theater for almost twelve hours. I'm going to go nuts. I asked for a night off once a week from that... the response I got was, "Well, I'd like a night off, too. Tough." Yeah, eff you. You choose to do all of these projects at once, not my fault. I'm really afraid that this show is going to cause all of my connections to be lost. I've missed my friends so much, but I won't be able to see them... ever. I work all the damn time, and I have nothing to show for it. It's going to be a bitch of a year, and I'm really nervous about becoming bitter. I'm not living the life I want. I'm barely making ends meet... I'm at the point where I'm using stupid cliches like "making ends meet." I can't even write anymore because it's making me so hateful and bitter. I feel like people are always taking advantage of me because I'm so willing to help, and I'm really good at what I do. I tried to make a stand today about the wanting a night off... and I got a minimal compromise. I like working for the company, I do... but I'm not sure being an INTERN is for me. I really refuse to take crap from people, but maybe that'll be my downfall. Maybe that'll lead me to not working with anyone in the future? Who knows. I just have to roll with the punches... jeez, another cliche. I need to go back to school. Penn State or Michigan, please accept me!