Teenage Dream

I started writing a blog entry and stopped, something I do quite often actually. But lucky for me, it is similar to what I want to discuss today. It's October... it's mid-October. I tend to get really depressed in October. Fall Break usually helped... but real world equals no Fall Break. No Thanksgiving break. No Winter Break. Anyway, focus. October. I always feel so down, and I don't know why. It's like clockwork every year. I usually blow it off, though. It's mostly stress related, and I'm really stressed right now with work and The Boy Friend. Things keep changing or have no structure at all. It's driving me bananas. I like having a daily agenda of what I need to get done. I don't like down time, but I don't like my down time getting interrupted by trivial tasks I didn't schedule already. Honestly, I feel like I'm on duty every night I have to house manage. And this one lady has the most ANNOYING voice; hearing her talking makes me want to rip out my hair. Rwar, I said it. Phew I feel better, haha. I think the weather is getting me down; it sure is starting to get me sick. I think I'm pushing myself too hard. Running constantly, ignoring myself. I do it frequently. I make about $5 and hour, yet I work at least $12 an hour days. It'd be fine if I didn't have rent to pay or gas to put into my car.

Stop complaining. I'm tired of complaining, but I have no one I can talk to in Richmond. I'm screaming on the inside and can't let it out. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Still silent, regardless of how many capital A's.