Valerie

So I have nothing to discuss right now other than things that I always discuss... like my really stressed out life. I'm watching "1 Girl 5 Gays" right now on Logo... so I'm going to answer their questions. Warning: some of this are kind of graphic. The show's tag line is "20 Questions about Love and Sex" so yeah... they talk about sex a lot. Some are just dumb. I love this show. I'm also going to give the real question but tweak them to my own life.

20 - What's the most disgusting pornographic image you've seen?

Someone made me watch 2 Girls 1 Cup... thankfully I missed 1 Guy 1 Jar and Church of Fudge..

19 - If your heart had a voice, who would it sound like?

Hmm. I'd probably have to say Eva Cassidy. Her voice is lovely and haunting... like my life. Haha.

18 - At your wedding, what song would you play for the mother/son dance?

I've already decided it'll be something by Rob Thomas or Matchbox Twenty. "Cradle Song" most likely.

17 - Can you remember a specific orgasm?

Yes. I'm not going to be graphic and go into it, haha.

16 - If the person on your left was a magazine, what magazine would he be?

I'll choose my roommate since no one is to my left. Kelly would probably be a Rocky Horror fan magazine. She's quirky like that.

15 - Describe the last time you were shocked?

The episode of GLEE where the bully kissed Kurt shocked the hell out of me.

14 - If you posted a singles ad, what would your ad say?

Well currently one of my singles ads' headline is "Okay I Get It, Let Me Think, I Guess It's My Turn." If I were to post a serious one, though, it'd probably be about what I'm looking for in a significant other. I don't know. I'm bad at these things.

13 - Who would you do: Ann Coulter or Dr. Laura?

Ugh jeez, Dr. Laura.

12 - Fill in the Blank: No one has made me laugh harder than ___

Probably my sister. I can't remember exact topics, but I remember rolling on the floor crying a lot after talking to her.

11 - What was the last text you regretted sending?

Gosh, I send a lot of texts I regret, but there's nothing too specific I can remember.

10 - How does what you thought sex was, compare to what it is?

Sex seems to never be what people think. I was definitely hoping for something a little more emotional and connected. I was dating the person at the time, but it had only been for a few weeks. I mean I loved this person, but sex was kind of a let down because after there was no connection. Most of the time he would have to leave or I would have to leave.

9 - If everyone on the panel had a sex tape, whose would you want to watch?

Hmm so I'll just say out of my friends. Honestly, I wouldn't want to see any of my friends' sex tapes... I don't want to picture my friends having sex. Awkward.

8 - What is the most painful thing that has ever happened to you?

Physically, probably getting hit in the testicles with a golf ball in my back yard as a kid. That pain is the worst.

Mentally/Emotionally, probably an episode I had with an individual my junior year. Things were going pretty well, I thought we would end up together, but I was just thrown away like the trash. I felt used, and I was left bitter and jaded. I've been screwed up when it comes to love for a while, and that didn't help it any.

7 - Of the guys that have appeared on this show, who do you think is the bravest?

Again, I'll pick from my friends. I would have to saw Andrew. I know his doubts and insecurities, but I always see him taking initiative and get so inspired. He isn't afraid to talk about his past, and I have always held him in the highest esteem.

6 - Who would you do: Chris Martin or Brandon Flowers?

Brandon Flowers

5 - At what age were you your ugliest?

Jeez. I'd probably have to say however old I was in 7th grade. My nose always looked huge, I used gel in my hair and wore stupid clothes. I had bad skin and no tan. Middle school was just bad.

4 - If you could make your penis bigger, would you?

Simple answer: yes.

3 - Describe the eyes of the person on your right.

This is hard to do since no one is to my right... and I can't just pick someone randomly.

2 - Have you ever seen your parents cry?

I've heard my mother cry. My parents got into a really bad fight once when I was in high school. It was so bad my dad left and went to Michigan for two weeks. I heard my mom cry as they fought and after he left. We thought he was gone for good. My mom is really strong, but she broke down.

1 - Close your eyes and describe the perfect date.

Maymont or something outside. I'd love to walk around a park like Maymont or Central Park. Then we'd go to some trendy cafe for lunch. We'd take in a movie either at a theater or one of our houses. Then we'd cuddle by the fire as it snowed outside.

Okay great. Love that show :)