Hello, Dolly!

Wow. It's been since April since I posted last. My apologies to my three followers! Well, as I've stated all over my social media addiction, I am in a production of Hello, Dolly! at Riverside Dinner Theater in Fredericksburg, VA. I am Stanley/Ensemble in the show, which means I am all over the place. This is the hardest dance show in which I have been cast so far. I don't know the hardest moves, but my choreography is pretty circus (instead of saying intense, we say circus... it's our thing). Sally Struthers (All in the Family, Gilmore Girls and so much more) is our Dolly Levi. That's right. Sally Struthers. She's wonderful. At first of course we were all star struck by her. Now, though, she is one of the cast. It is truly wonderful (apparently I say wonderful a lot...) to work with a talented, seasoned actor like Sally. I am so proud of this show, and I am so happy I am finally getting paid to do what I love. I don't want to say that this means I'll never do free theater again... but it has to be a juicy part for me to be involved. I'm so grateful for this opportunity, and I hope I have the opportunity to work with these talented people again. The Richmond Crew (there is a group of four of us who live in 804 and commute to the 540) have gotten super close lately. Love it. It does suck, though, that I'm getting ready to leave this all behind. I have to think towards the future and not let it get to me. We have seven more weeks of the show so COME SEE IT!!!

My blog has never been too interesting, but it really helps me release some inner issues I may have. I have really bad anxiety, so this calms the storm. Did I mention I'm doing Hello, Dolly! with SALLY STRUTHERS? Come see it. She's WONDERFUL! haha :D

Me and the Moon

I'm doing things to get my life back on a healthy track. I am trying to damnedest to eat better, sleep more and be more active. It's honestly easier said than done. You have to push yourself. You really have to make the decision to be healthy, and honestly I'm to the point where if someone's feelings get hurt because I won't eat their cooking (aka my southern Grandma who may have taken care of my diabetic grandfather when he was sick... but she didn't look after the rest of us as we grew up)... I just have to do what's best for my body. The three focus groups are Body, Mind and Soul to be cliche. They break down into things that make a lot more sense.

Body

Probably the biggest group, this deals with food and exercise. I am trying to find an eating plan with which to stick so I can map out exactly what I am eating and when I am eating. I'm considering a few choices. My mom wants us to try the 17 Day Diet, one of the newest fad diets out there. She loves Dr. Oz, so who knows. I'm also interested in the Slim Fast Diet as my mom used it to drop the weight after her kids were born (and was successful!). I may get back on track with the Special K Challenge, but we'll see. My dad works for Domino's, so we get pizza all the time. Well, I'm done with pizza. No more. I have to exercise self control and say no to eating that crap. I also need to get back into a gym routine once the show opens. Until then I'm dancing full out every night of rehearsal. It's a demanding show, probably the most demanding dance wise I've been in to this point (it should have been West Side Story, but the choreography was very weak). Hopefully I can regain some time to go back to the gym once I'm not literally working from 9AM until 10PM, 11PM, 12AM, 1AM. I also need to remind myself to continue taking my One a Day vitamin supplement. It was really helping my energy and the overall way I felt on a daily basis.

Mind

This group will probably be the most challenging. I'm putting sleep under mind because it really is a mental thing for me. Instead of wasting time after I get home from work/rehearsal, I need to get into bed and be restful. No computer, maybe a little TV, but mostly bed. I need to push for 8 hours instead of 7. I need to relax and meditate more. I'm going to start finding time to do simple yoga in my room when I wake up/before bed. I need to stop stressing about silly little things. I need to listen to good music, drive around town and sit in my favorite quiet spots to just reflect on what is going on with my life.

Soul

Soul should really be lifestyle, but I wanted to stick with the three buzz words. I need to live a healthier lifestyle by implementing all of the above issues in my life. I need to spend more time with friends, save more money for New York, and stop worrying about other people. I want to explore Richmond some more before I go, and I want to have a blast with my Hello, Dolly! cast mates. I want a summer fling, male or female. I want to leave Richmond with a positive view when I move to New York in July. I want to go to more concerts and live theater. Hell, I want to go to the movies more! I don't want to be one of those corporate slaves. I refuse to believe that reality is work, work and just work after you graduate college. I absolutely refuse to believe that.

Today I've eaten pretty well I guess. Nothing horrible. I'm drinking a lot of water, and I took my One a Day. Hooray. I lost 15 pounds so far. Now I need to lose another 15 to 20. Holla!

Sigh No More

This weekend is the last weekend I'll have that's not dedicated to working all the time or doing shows all the time. I had a great four weekends of visiting friends, growing in new ways, and further figuring out my life. Harrisonburg the first weekend was a pivotal weekend that strengthened a friendship and made me think about things a lot clearer. GloZell weekend made me remember the funnier aspects of life. Formal weekends reminded me to let loose and have fun with my friends. This weekend, though, really put things into perspective.

Friday I didn't really do too much. I stayed in and got some sleep that was needed. I started back up with Queer as Folk season two. Saturday, though, I really got in touch with my inner self. I've been itching to see the Picasso exhibit at the Virginia Museum of Fine Art. I've been waiting for other people to go with me, but I decided to just go by myself today. I'm glad I did. I had a great time exploring the museum by myself and analyzing the way Picasso's art showed the way he viewed life, faces, his own personal life. The photography in the exhibit really set it off, too, showing not just his art but his life. I did run into a friend half way through the exhibit, and it was great to discuss the exhibit together. I'm glad I got to formulate my opinion on the works prior to running into him, haha. I really got in touch with my artsy side today (blasting Mumford and Sons to and from the museum). Before I knew it, I had been lost in the museum for almost two hours. It was an absolutely awesome experience, and I am really glad I sucked it up and went by myself.

Then I reconnected with Jackie. She was in town, so I went to her place for dinner. Then I connected with Tyler. I know this is very cryptic, but I've already said enough tonight about all of this, and I don't want to talk about it online. Just know I had a great evening with Jackie and an amazing phone conversation with La'Tyler. :D So if anyone reads this, connect with me offline! I miss a lot of you. :D

Till the World Ends

Today I have decided to get my life back together. It seemed to veer off track these past two weeks with being careless with my money, driving to visit friends out of town (wasting a LOT of gas) and not exercising. I need to get back into a routine that is healthy. So today! Today is the day I take my life back into my own hands. I revisited my budget for April. This means I actually redid my budget for April. I'm coming out with not a lot of money after bills are paid, but I have money set aside for New York and for my savings account. I'm going to be strict with myself and my purchases. This probably means no going out as much as I'd like until my income from Hello, Dolly! starts rolling in. This definitely means after KDR and ASA Formals this weekend, no big trips until New York to find an apartment. This absolutely means no frivolous purchases with my own money (luckily I turned in some rewards points for an Amazon gift card to get the Britney CD and the new Warblers from GLEE CD). This means mapping out when I drive to rehearsal so I can save on gas as much as possible. So from now until I go to New York, I'm going to take my life back and do a daily Twitter update with what my way of taking my life back will be. I'll post them in my blog weekly. Today's, just to kick things off, is:

Day #1: No McDonald's before/after rehearsal

Instead of awful fast food, I need to think about what I'm eating. I chose Subway over Taco Bell and McDonald's today. I already feel a lot better. It also helps that I took my vitamin after a few weeks without it, but that's for tomorrow's update. I want to be specific as possible with what I do, so we'll see how this goes! :)

Have a Little Faith in Me

I was going to write about my emotional roller coaster weekend. Instead, I'll just focus on this past week (including the weekend) without all the same mumbo jumbo I always write. This blog is about three days in the making by the way haha

Harrisonburg was a blast. Friday through Sunday this time instead of one night. Lots of debauchery and blurry memories. Yeah, it was a typical night in the 'burg with Tyler and company. Right after this whirlwind trip, I drove right into Fredericksburg for rehearsal! I'm finally doing a PAYING show. It's magnificent. It's not the best money in the world, but hey. It's a paying show. Finally. I'm in the ensemble, which is totally okay since there's a lot of dancing, and Sally Struthers is Dolly. Hilarious. I'm stoked.

The only problem is this week has been exhausting. I haven't been sleeping too well. I haven't been eating well at all. I've missed the gym because I'm just so damn tired all the time. I went out last night, had a blast, but I'm paying for it. So sleepy! I'm getting ready to go down to CNU to see GloZell tonight, and I work until late tomorrow... and I have rehearsal Sunday night. So there's no sleep to be had this week. Hopefully I can catch up with the gym though?

Here's a new segment I'm calling RVA to NYC!

So so far I've saved $400 specifically for NYC. That's... half one month's rent haha. I hope to have at least $1000 when I move up with more money coming as I get a job up there until school starts. Ashleigh already agreed to help out most of our finances for a few months until we get settled. Pretty much as soon as Hello, Dolly! ends, we'll be making the leap! It's going to be amazing. I can't wait!

Blackbird

Being in my parents' house gives me insomnia.

Kurt: Why did you pick me to sing that song with?

Blaine: Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever."Watching you do "Blackbird:" this week... that was the moment for me about you. You move me, Kurt, and this duet would be an excuse to spend more time with you.

Thanks Glee for continuing to throw it in my face how single and hopeless I am when it comes to my own love life, haha. If you didn't see the "Original Songs" episode of Glee... you missed an amazing moment for Klaine fans (Kurt and Blaine). They finally got together. Fox even allowed two men to kiss! Shocking! Anyways, Ashleigh and I continued to pine away for Blaine (even though more recently I've been pining after Brittany and Santana). It makes me feel utterly hopeless. Here I am, ogling over some fictional character whose actor is straight in real life. I guess I should be ogling over the writers because Blaine's words were beautiful. Side note, Kurt's dad's speech the other week was brilliant as well. I wish my father gave me the sex talk that way. Anyways, Blaine. Men like him may exist, but 90% of them are fictional characters.

All of this reminds me of something my mom asked me recently. She asked me how I was doing. Vague questions get vague answers. I told her I was fine, just really busy with work and stressed about life as usual. Then she asked me if I liked anyone. I haven't been asked that by her since high school. I told her my typical cop out answer. "I'm too busy for a relationship." Then what she said next really broke my heart. "I just worry about you. I don't want you to be alone. I want someone to take care of you." That was probably the most amazing thing she has ever said to me. Now it's not advice she gave me or anything, but it was so thought provoking for one thing. It also showed that she does think about me in the ways I choose to ignore publicly. She knows I'm alone and have been for a long time. It really made me think about my life and everything. I'm at the point in my life, though, where I don't know what I want. I know I've put myself last for years, and I'm finally to the point where I just need to do what is best for me. Hence why I auditioned for Hello, Dolly! in Fredericksburg. I'm moving to New York in four months, so starting a relationship in Virginia would be pointless (I can't deal with long distance). I just don't know. I need to start over in New York. This is such a tough thing for me to deal with since I've spent so much time ignoring the issue. My mom is worried about me finding someone. That speaks so loudly to me. My dad could care less, as long as I'm in a job he thinks is worthy of his praise. Fuck him. Sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyways, again I know I discuss this a lot. It's such a prevalent issue, though. Okay I guess I should try to sleep. Whoo hoo.

EDIT:

So sleep obviously isn't happening, so I'm rereading blog entries from last year. Turns out my mom asked me the same question and posed the same worry last June when I was still living at CNU for the summer. Hmm, maybe that's telling me something huge...

Linus and Lucy

I had an entry started about me going to New York. Well I don't want to write about that anymore, but just know that I'm going to AMDA in NYC in October. I'm peeing myself with excitement.

What I do want to write about, though, is Charlie Brown. Why, you ask? Well, you obviously don't know me. Saying I love Charlie Brown is an understatement. I'm obsessed. Hell, I have related to Charlie Brown since I was his age. I have seen A Charlie Brown Christmas every since Christmas since I was born many times a year. I have three stuffed Snoopys, a Charlie Brown that shivers and plays "Linus and Lucy," a place mat on my desk, a Snoopy flag on my wall, a Lucy and Charlie Brown salt and pepper shaker set, and a lot more. I'm clearly insane with love for the Peanuts gang. Obsessed. My first tattoo is going to be Snoopy with Woodstock hovering over him (I was going to get Charlie Brown, but I figured since I am Charlie Brown it'd be nice to have my best friend looking over me). So yeah I know a thing or two about Chuck and the gang.

Well, last night I went to see Firehouse Theatre Project's production of Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead by Bert V. Royal (Easy A). Without giving anything away, this play asks what would happen if our favorite characters were taken from the pages of the newspaper and put into high school? How would these characters deal with real world problems such as bullying and personal identity? Charlie Brown is now CB, a young man dealing with the death of his beloved dog. All of his friends have grown into different clicks (Linus is stoner Van, Lucy is Van's Sister locked up for burning the Little Read Haired Girl's hair off, Marcy and Patty are Mean Girl versions of themselves, Pig Pen is germiphobe and homophobic Matt, and Schroder is outcasted Beethoven).

I went into this production knowing I was going to love it. My friend/co-worker Bryan plays Beethoven, and he's been raving about it for months. Since it has something to do with Charlie Brown, of course I'm going to go in loving it. It was really great to see how these actors connected their characters with characteristics of their comic strip selves while developing them further than print. Each scene fit nicely into a comic strip-esque feel, and nothing felt forced. These characters seemed real while reminding us of their Peanuts past. I found myself laughing at the subtle hints to their past while growing into or searching for their new identities. I found myself crying through CB's struggles with himself and his friends. I found myself sobbing when CB finally got a letter back from his pen pal. I was so touched by this show in so many ways. The show itself was just fantastic, touching and driving. When CB is talking to Van's Sister, he says something about how he wanted to do something, so he did it with no apologizes. Lucy can finally see that CB has broken out of himself and finally become a complex person. I think my love for Charlie Brown really added to the emotion of the show. I would love to see it again if I could. As soon as I got home I bought the script. I cannot wait to read it and if I can't pull any monologues from it, you bet I'll at least do a scene from it at school if not try to mount a full production. I haven't genuinely loved a play in a long time (other than Legacy of Light at Barksdale). This spoke to me as a true Charlie Brown lover. Please see it if you're in Richmond this weekend. Go see a production of it should one be mounted near you. It is a play not to be missed.